I’ve hated the gym my whole life, and yet somehow Michael has convinced me to voluntarily participate in what can only be described as medieval torture device engineering.
Every piece of equipment looks like it was designed by someone who thought, “What if we combined a pulley system with regret?” And Michael just stands there calmly, like a professor of pain, explaining how it’s “good form.”
To be clear: I still hate the gym. Deeply. Spiritually.
And yet… I keep coming back.
Michael has this remarkable ability to convince you to do things that feel both unnecessary and historically questionable. He’ll say things like, “Just one more,” as if that has ever meant one more. But somehow, you do it—and even more annoyingly, you get better.
He’s also genuinely a really nice guy, which is confusing given everything he’s putting you through. But it does make the time pass faster, which I assume is part of the strategy.
The results are undeniable. I’m stronger, healthier, and in better shape than I’ve ever been. At this point, the main mystery is not whether the program works—it’s why I continue to participate in it willingly.
If you’re someone who doesn’t enjoy working out but does enjoy results, Michael is your guy. He won’t make the gym feel less like a torture chamber—but he will make you surprisingly effective at surviving it.